This shit’s bananas.
An old bandmate of mine would fly into a towering fit of rage whenever he heard the song that today’s title alludes to. It was, he would argue, loudly, so atrociously bad that it shouldn’t even be considered music. Personally, being a decidedly post-Cage-ian listener, I don’t think that the distinction between music and noise is particularly helpful. Which isn’t to imply that I would willingly listen to that sort of execrable pop music (although I do think it has a certain appeal when blasted far beyond the point of distortion on tinny automobile speakers) - as I was trying to explain recently, I have very discerning taste. I wouldn’t say that it’s good taste, really, but rather that I can tell almost immediately what I like and what I don’t, and thus I can say with some fair degree of certainty that I am not, in fact, no “holla back girl” (but wouldn’t it be sweet if I was).
I think I mentioned earlier in this blog that my friend Russell is very anti-banana. He claims that it “is a jerk” because its flavor is strong enough to cover up virtually anything else it’s combined with (I’m really on a sentence-ending preposition roll today, aren’t I). I had purchased a small container of dried banana chunks (which my friend Chris introduced me to, and which are delicious (not to be confused with banana chips, which are disgusting) on my way home from work recently and decided that it was time to put this theory to the test. The result is yet another modification of your basic oatmeal chocolate chip cookie recipe with a little bit of chopped dried banana, walnuts, and toffee thrown in. Russell was pretty satisfied, but he did say that he preferred the bites of cookie that didn’t have banana in them to those that did. I guess there simply is no accounting for taste.
Ingredients:
- 1 cup margarine
- 1 cup sugar
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 2 measures egg replacer
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- 2 cups flour
- 2 cups oatmeal
- 1 tsp. baking soda
- 1 tsp. baking powder
- 1/2 tsp. salt
- 1 tsp. cinnamon (optional)
- 1/2 cup dried banana, chopped
- 1/2 cup walnuts
- 1/2 cup chocolate chips
- 1/2 cup toffee bits (optional)
Equipment: mixing bowl, hand mixer or mixing spoon, baking sheets, oven.
Music: The BA-NA-NAs (I don’t know if they have an album, or anything - they’re just some local(?) band I saw play the other night who were kind of good, but whom I mostly liked because of their attitude of playful disdain toward the audience. Alternately, simply listen to the Raffi song “Bananaphone” until you go, well, bananas).
Instructions: Make like chocolate chip cookies (it’s not that hard, people).
Ahem:
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
- Blend margarine and sugars together. Mix in egg replacer and vanilla.
- Add flour, oatmeal, baking soda/powder, salt, and cinnamon and mix.
- Stir in dried banana, walnuts, chocolate chips, and toffee bits.
- Scoop tablespoon-sized balls of dough onto cookie sheets.
- Bake for 10 minutes.
In other news, I’m working on my latest batch of vegan croissants as we speak. I will post an update on my inevitable success just as soon as it occurs.
